Big Break

Whitecastle: Remember how their lawyers said everything was fine?

Moi: Wait, are you going to jail?

Whitecastle: No. And even if I were, you can't have my office.

Moi: You won't even be using it!

Totally not baking a shiv in his cake now. I was just asking after his future well being.

DocNice has the nicest anecdotes. If I ever write a book, I'm stealing all his stories. In the meantime, I'll post them here. DocNice was interviewing at a hospital. He was so confident of his performance that he actually told his wife that "the only way I'm not getting this job is if I vomit during [this final dinner with the division]." Oh, such famous last words, DocNice. He didn't vomit through dinner, he just bled. DocNice had the brilliant revelation that he should shave before dinner and cut his lip. Badly. So large was the gash that it would gush every time he removed his hand from it to answer a question. Schmoozing, answering questions, and eating dinner- perhaps the three hardest hardest things to do with blood running down your mouth. The lowest point, he said, came as he was midway through answering a question, another doctor cut him off from across the table to yell, "You've got to keep pressure on it!"

I think I've found my new catchphrase.