Sunday Best

(We got there pretty early- we don't mess around when it comes to kung fu)

How do I describe last night? My wall mirror fell and revealed just how much $7.99 can buy. I had a headache for most of the afternoon/evening. Bail outs abounded. Life was generally a mess. But then kung fu saved the day. Kung fu always saves the day. It all started with dinner in Chinatown with Liz (!) and Haley. Stinky tofu, dumplings, and noodles: cheap, meaty, and all tasty with a hint of shady- it was pretty much the best kind of meal money can buy.

After dinner, we headed to the Chinatown gate to watch Shaolin Soccer, stopping first at an empty lot and following some of the worst direction posters ever made. But it was a great event. Free movies shown outside. Reviving a Chinatown tradition. Empowering youths. A nice mix of little kids and old people from the neighborhood, normals, community organizers, and loners who like Asian things. Brilliant weather after a weekend of storming. Every piece of the evening was great. And oh, have I mentioned that we were watching Shaolin Soccer? I forgot how long the movie was. And also how absurd. Here's one of my favorite scenes:

After the movie, in the name of supporting community development, I got myself a glow in the dark t-shirt.

Not going to lie: dinner, friends, movie, laughs, kung fu, supporting community... all were great for sure, but this t-shirt takes the cake.

Lady Liberty

Went away to a retreat with the Jesus folks this weekend. Scenic Lake Winnipesaukee with all its natural charms and hurricane cold. The sermon this morning was on freedom: great for people struggling with control and guilt, terrible for people who are reminded of commercials at the sound of the word and want to yell "Freedom!" at every mention. (I think it was a Chase commercial, though I'm not having google luck tonight) The speaker said the word 43 times and I wanted to say "Freedom!" 43 times.

It was a fun and fast paced retreat. I'm feeling lazy about telling you what happened, but I will say this, Scrabble was played, and despite being barred from putting down "ab" and "hob" though they are both legitimate English and Scrabble-approved words, I did win handsomely. I will also say that my butt got very wet today, I did 30 minutes of homework, and came in 16th (out of 55) in the first poker tournament I've ever played in. Night, suckas.

Backhand, Still Awaiting the Compliment

DocNice: How's orientation going?

Moi: Busy. Meeting lots of new people. Figuring out who to suck up to.

DocNice: Somehow I don't think that's going to be an issue for you.

Whitecastle: That's the least of your worries.

I have no idea what they're talking about...

but I do know that I totally whupped Doc Query in Scrabble this week. He had been leading the entire game with his Zs and "burqa" and all, "sorry, life is unfair." But last night, boo yah and I pulled up from behind. How do you like them apples, Query?

Thursday Slow Down

Orientation week had been absolutely hectic the past few days, so much so that I've run up a ridiculous bill paying for lunches and dinners without much of a chance to eat at home. I've got all sorts of nasty leftovers waiting for me next week- half a falafel wrap, 1.5 slices of pizza, bad Chinese truck food, and now some Indian as well. Not to mention a fridge of rotting veg.

I did finally get a breather today though, skipping out on my afternoon "Time Management" session and choosing instead to meet up with Amy, walk the neighborhood, stop at Flour for fruit tart and creme brulee, then going home to watch the Little League playoffs while Amy napped on the couch.

My boys of summer rewarded me for such loyalty and beat Caracao 5-2. I've been watching the event because Taiwan just made it to the international finals, but also because of how low pressure it all is. It's just kids. They're having fun no matter what. And the adults cheer crazily no matter what. I love the intense Taiwanese cheerleaders, their bats, banners, and flag t-shirts that say Taiwan (which isn't officially allowed). They almost make up for the complete ignorance of the ESPN360 staff, who haven't grasped the fact that while the Taiwanese team has to represent "Chinese Taipei" for the dumbest of political reasons, Chinese Taipei isn't actually a place, and therefore can't show up on any maps, or be referred to like a location. And also shouldn't be referred to as "China." Because that's the whole reason why it was called Chinese Taipei in the first place. Morons.

The Long Goodbye

Dear New York Times:
Did you edit the Kennedy obit at all? Because it's 7 pages long (much than MJ's). And we know that he died by the headline, so I'm not sure what the rest of it is for; US Weekly can probably convey his life's work in 32 words or less.

Sincerely,

People to See, Places to Be

Sophomore Blues

Orientation day II. There was a scavenger hunt. Oohing as we passed Atul Gwande's empty office. Too many people, too many names, and too many classes to take. We met the Department this afternoon and as the professors all went around saying what they teach and what their research interests were, the same old nerd senses came back tingling. Maybe school will be wonderful after all.

In the mean time, I keep saying "because they're snotty like that" but soon, I'll have to revise the phrase to because "we're snotty like that."

PS. I was not run over by a car yesterday. And the block outside 7-11 smells like dead fish for some mysterious reason.

Retread

How did the first day of orientation go? All's I'm saying is: my name tag has tire marks and grit on it.

Yellow Rage

Today is the first day of Orientation.  Actually, Orientation starts in about 25 minutes.  So far, all we've accomplished is checking in.  They blocked off 90 minutes for us to pick up a packet and name tags.  And, Haaaavuhd students, being the overachievers that they are, all managed to show up within the first 10 minutes.  Ridiculous.  (In my defense, I was there early so I could peace out and check in at work.  Which, I understand, doesn't make me sound any less nerdy.  But if I didn't have to meet with Whitecastle this morning, I wouldn't have shown up until 9:52am.) 

Speaking of ridiculous, my Little Leaguers beat the Canadians merciless yesterday.  8-0.  Whitecastle seemed to take this news well, until he started veering off track.

(Discussing collaborators we've never met)

Whitecastle: Her name doesn't look it, but she sounds like an Asian woman on the phone.  Very docile.

Moi: What!?  OK.  When you work on this [presentation I'm supposed to send over to him] on Wednesday night, you're going to find only 2 slides done.

Whitecastle: And you'll find your contract terminated on Thursday morning.

Always with the upperhand.

Saturday Night Trio

Tooth polish is my favorite part of a dental visit. It's painless, leaves my mouth minty fresh, and best of all, signifies the end of tooth cleaning. I went to the dentist today and for the first time since I can remember, the dentist's wife did not tell me that she has a daughter with the same name as me. Instead, we exchanged packages and messages at other people's behest, which made tooth cleaning weirder than usual.

Though not as weird as the position I found myself in tonight, sitting in the back of my dad's minivan. To the right of me was a near stranger. A friend of our visiting friends from Taiwan. A kid maybe a couple of years younger than I am. Perhaps bored by the car ride, he started humming quite loudly. And I wasn't sure what to do.

I also sent a bowl of pho back to the kitchen tonight. But the apologetic waiter took all the fun out of that experience. Way to go, Polite Man.

Of Right and Wonk

The more I read of my accounting textbook, the more fascinating tidbits I pick up.  Today's gemstone: 

Please do not peek.  If you look at the answers before writing your response, you will lose much of the education value.

Again, written in that morally superior yet English-challenged halting manner.  Who knew honesty would be such an asset or accounting such an amusing field?  I did.

Colored People

I learned a couple of things today. A. I need to stop checking my work email when I do not plan on working. B. If you take Mr. Rogers + the Beastie Boys, you get a group called Imagination Movers. They have a song about putting on sunblock. I wish my mother had played that song for me when I was young, because I would have remembered to put sunblock on my feet. Now I have these strangely browned feet while my legs are of a normal tan color. I got a lot of melanin this summer. So much so that little Tim kept rubbing my arms at lunch today and asking his mom why my arms were so dark. (He may also have used my hands to wipe his nose when we were walking together. But he's just too darn cute for anyone to do anything about it.) Between the dermatologist and Tim, my epidermis is having a great month.

Soaring, Tumbling, Freewheeling

So much has happened since yesterday. There is a new 200-m record. The temperature is finally cooling. And oh, I signed up for classes and learned that I have to finish a 250-page accounting work book before classes start. Accounting? I've never had enough money, or thought it might behoove me in the future, to account for anything. Goodbye, sunshine and freedom. It was nice knowing you.

I just cracked the book open and here is what I've learned so far:

Assets are resources owned by a company. Employees are not assets. (In the right hand margins of the book, it states: No one owns humans since the abolition of slavery.)

The statement appears comical in 2 different ways so far. Though I'm sure a third one will come along soon enough.

Meets the Eye

Korean fried chicken is delicious. And I had too many wings tonight. But that's fine as it may have to be my only consolation for awhile. Remember how I'm planning on going back to school? Turns out, school may not want to have me. Oh, I've paid my term bill and signed the loan notices, but apparently haven't been receiving the course, orientation, and student email information that everyone else has received. I don't know if this is a passive aggressive way of denying me admission, but you cashed those checks, people. I better be going somewhere next week.

In other news, 500 Days of Summer is a great, worthwhile movie that will make your heart warm and then pull a chunk of it out.

Beach II

Another day, another beach. This time, with much goofier looking people.

Jailbreak

My pinky toe nail is making a break for it.  Half of it, at least.  It's got a good head start and can probably make it through Trenton by the time I wake up tomorrow.  (Of course, it's going South.  Only lame-os flee to Canada.  Besides, I've got people all along the northeaster seaboard.)  Of all the biological signs that point to me being Taiwanese, I seem to have drawn all the short straws.  Single slit eye lid, alcohol intolerant, and funky cracked pinky toe nails that are sort of split into 2, thus making them prone to get knocked loose.  And making a run for it across state borders. 

 

No idea why I shared that with you except that it's 10PM and Mother is walking around the house asking us what her official first name is.  She has three names and can "never seem to remember" whether she has a twofer first name or a first, middle, and last name.  I wish I knew what to make of this. 

Beach I

My friends got backs.
(Missing here: Gak)

Vacation Land

(Tuesday)
(There is no record of Wednesday)

(Thursday)
(If Landlady Chang is reading, that is uh ... not your fruit plate)

(Friday)

Calling It In

This is my watch tan as it stood last month. I need to go to bed now so I can wake up early tomorrow to wait for Anthony at a Dunkin Donut, and though I do not mean to work on a tan (my people aren't big on that, we're more focused on things like surviving typhoons- pray for those people), I'm sure it will grow more dramatic. Tomorrow is Friday. Perfect for beach, Easy Mac Daddy, and all sorts of wonderfulness. So this isn't so much a blog entry as "na na na na na, my Friday will be better than yours."

South Ends and Bits

I've been living in the South End for almost a year now, but the gentrification thing still weirds me out sometimes. I've made peace with it, though not as much peace as Riles. When I confessed to being a gentrifier to my former soc prof and current soc idol last weekend, she said, "Well, who hasn't?" And then told me stories of her time in Philly, how she "got beat up a lot" and "always felt like I deserved it." Praying really hard that I neither get mugged nor feel like I deserve it any time soon.

On a slightly irrelevant neighborhood note, Taiwanese American chef Joanne Chang (who schooled Bobby Flay in a throwdown) has 2 establishments pretty much equidistant on either side of my place. And I hate Myers & Chang with as much passion as I love Flour Bakery & Cafe (much as I love-hate yuppies and their lifestyle). I went halfsies on 2 Flour sandwiches with Liz today (roast lamb with tomato chutney, arugula, and goat cheese; roast chicken with pickled jicama and avocado spread) and we both had the hardest time deciding which to eat first (I ended up alternating-- chicken, lamb, chicken, lamb) and last because they were equally heavenly. I might have shed a tear on the last bite. I might have prayed that Jesus hold off his return until I finished the sandwiches. It was so good that I want to write a couple more sentences just to make myself worthy of it. But who am I kidding? In the words of Billy Shakes, "You are not wood, you are not stones, but men. And being men, hearing the delicacies of Flour, it will inflame you, it will make you mad." Mad, but incredibly satisfied.

Roll Over

It is Vacation Day 2 (or 4? I don't really know) and I find myself incapable of sleeping late. I delivered cupcakes. Watched people at BP work a lot harder than I do. Watched a movie. And generally took things very easy while eating very good food (savory Chinese pancake, coconut shortbread, ridiculous Flour sandwiches, tortilla de espana, plus buss up roti with chicken and potatoes from Nikisha's roti-- I get tired just thinking of all the things I ate today). Yet even when I only work an hour out of my day, I still have time to look like a fool.

For the review I wrote and turned in this morning (Whitecastle: Young Grasshopper, you have much to learn from me. Moi: ...), I struggled between deeming it as a rejection or one that needed major revision. I first decided to reject it. Changed my mind. Then the struggle really came. Instead of undoing my answer, I checked both choices on the form. A few more clicks later, refreshing the page, logging in and out, and I had checked every option on the form. It got so ridiculous that I had to write an extra note to the editors explaining that the forms proved too difficult for me to master and what my choice really was. Yeah, they're really going to value my review now.

PS. Dusty- I had a 5 minute argument with Liz at BP today, over whether I knew one Mr. Abshire or not. She was adamant that I didn't. I think she may have won. I'm now questioning my entire past.

To the Scene of the Crime

I went back to work today after a long weekend and discovered that everything was just as I left it yet completely different. The most dramatic difference is that Uzi and I have switched desks. He now sits with the other RAs while I sit by the Division kitchenette, overhearing every coffee pour that goes throughout the day. The move has also placed me farther from most doctors' offices (except Doc Query's- I can now overhear every sneeze and social calendar arrangement that goes throughout the day).

Moi: My commute to your office has doubled.

Whitecastle: That's great. More exercise.

Moi: Right, I have to eat less now anyway.

Whitecastle: See? Now you can lose all that weight you've always wanted.

And there went the ego. On the bright side, that crush meant that there was nothing left for Doc Fisher to bruise later in the day...

Doc Fisher: Are you still allowed to sit there after we gave you a cake and everything?

Moi: Well, I'm not allowed in my old seat anymore.

Doc Fisher: I guess that's OK then. I see that you've started dressing like a student.

Because I wore a gray polo today? (Young Bo': He didn't want you to be confused for a boy.) I knew I shouldn't have worn those overalls...

Sandcastles in the Sand

(A Punty and I Collaboration: City on a Hill)

Yesterday felt like three disjointed days somehow taped together on a reel. Three marvelous days at that. I woke up in Portland and watched Gilmore Girls with Seames and Megan while flipping through an old issue of Real Simple. Mornings don't get better or easier than that. Except that I also paid for a breakfast sandwich I didn't get to eat. That was a bummer. (Boo, Ohno Cafe and your slow service, boo.)

A few hours later, I was home. Organizing and cleaning (just a tiny bit) but mostly eating the food of my handiwork and watching Taiwanese game show reruns. Sometimes, Saturdays are great spent indoors.

The evening day started with falling asleep on the Red Line, included a dinner in JP,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, (sorry, I was distracted by fire truck sirens) and capped off with fire pit s'mores at Keith's. Which is just about the best way one can conclude a day (since getting yelled at for giving money to a crack addict on the commute home certainly wasn't the best way).

Feeling Special

On my first day of vacation, I went to the dermatologist, as one naturally does. And then headed up the coast to the great state of Maine. I didn't have any special reasons to go to the dermatologist, except that the PCP recommended it, it's fun to kick up health care costs and not pay too much for it while I still have good health insurance, and because I wanted to know, after all these years, why my skin welts so easily. I explained my condition to the doc. Intrigued, he lightly drew an X on my back. Sure enough, a few minutes later, a red X appeared on my skin. Doc was so tickled with the effect that he went and fetched the physician's assistant so she too, could get a look at my freak back. She didn't have anything to offer. He just wanted her to have a chance to see me. I love it when I doctors use me as examples.

Turns out, my condition is called dermatographism. Wikipedia says that 4-5% of the population has this, but I've never met 4-5 people with this condition. And I've met more than 100 people. Doc offered such helpful advice to me as "just don't get scratched" and "some people just have this." As well as the very specific and enlightening, "You could try taking OTC Claritin for it. Some people take it for the rest of their lives." First the Knorr soup people, now I'm expected to put the Claritins through school, too? Nice try, buddy.

A Man and His Pi

Today was my last day at work. But since I'll be back on Monday, nothing has really sunk in yet. I just feel like I'm taking a long weekend. It didn't help that I had to stay late and scramble to finish my work.

(stopping by my desk at 5pm)

Moi: I'm just trying to impress people by how hard I'm working on my last day.

Whitecastle: I'm impressed. Or- you could just be showing people how slow you work. I'm not impressed.

Today's Division meeting went on for so long that half way through, I looked up and realized I could not remember a time when I was not in the meeting. There were some nuggets of hilarity to help pass the time by though:

Doc Really Advanced Biostatistician: I just love how much he loves his equations.

Chief: And I love how much you love how much he loves his equations.

Doc Fisher: OK, this is going to get uncomfortable soon.

Sweet Sorrows

Yesterday was my surprise going away lunch at work (ask me about the surprise sometimes, it's my favorite story this week). As usual, farewells brought out the fondest memories and warmest wishes in everyone. Here's a sampling of the best:

Whitecastle: You could do to lose some weight.

Doc Query: Second rate Scrabble player.

(In my thanks, I said, "I mean, I can't imagine any other job where I get to just write on the white board without it being the daily specials.")

Doc Gollum: That might be your job after graduation.

And then there was the cheerful Doc Binks.

Binks: Does the Dean still begin convocation by saying that the school of public health is the only Harvard school where graduates leave with less earning power than before they started the program?

Decider: Is that taking into account the effect modification of graduates with prior degrees?

Moi: (sighs and head shakes)

But it's OK. Doc Binks gave me a parting gift of a conference tote bag. On the one side it says SPSS. On the other SAS. I'm going to be the coolest kid in nerd school.

Of My Domain

Top Chef Masters is like Top Chef without the reality drama.  Without the flops.  And with really, really good chefs who are generally modest and respectful of one another.  And now that I've found free episodes online, Top Chef Masters is like crack.

Mi Casa

I was at the grocery store today with Mother. Not only did she try to move a shopping cart that was not hers without realizing it, but the cart had a child in it.