Saturday, July 26, 2008

Pied Piper

I don't know how it happened. But during these last two months helping out with the church youth group, I have become a children magnet. They freaking love me. (OK, so the little boys only like playing at me because I die dramatically when they shoot me, but whatever) Not just the toddlers, but even the older kids. They come to me to tell on my youths. Yesterday, young Mary told me that my youth Jeannie was "mean to her." I thought it was the usual case of telling kids that they smelled or were stupid, funny stuff that I did all the time, but no, Jeannie has bested me in being an awesome influence over the grade school kids:

When Mary asked Jeannie why she was taking pictures of the group, Jeannie said: Because you're dying of cancer and we wanted to give you pictures of everyone so you can bring them to heaven with you.

(Who brings pictures to heaven?)

Faulty theology and damaging children with lies... I have no idea where she got any of this from. One last thing on kids: I wish I knew how to beat them. Whenever I fight with 5-year-old Timmy, I always lose. He throws bombs at me, I die, he laughs. I throw bombs at him, he says "water, water!" and lives. Then throws a grenade at me. Yesterday, I said "water, water!" and he threw back "scorpion rays" at me. What the freak are scorpion rays and how am I supposed to defend myself from them!?

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