We Can Drink Like Royalty

(I don't know what's with all the shoutouts to LJC either.)

We now interrupt my regularly scheduled studying for a public service announcement:

For the last time, people, I will examine the anatomy of the glow, the flush, the Chinaman curse. Nobody ever seems to comprehend when I do, but I'll give it one more shot. It is not a sign of drunkeness; it is an enzyme deficiency. I don't even drink, but if and when I do, and I know I get those red splotches and eventually look like a lobster when that happens, I always have to explain myself. As I explain, people always like to pitch in with their own interpretations and anecdotes and accusations that I'm 'wasted' and 'hammered' and 'trashed' and somehow, the explanations get whacker and whacker and everyone always claims it's science. (Ah, the religion of science, the discursive control of science- another topic for another day.) Well, I'm studying for (read: procrastinating from) my biochem and part of that involves reading an article on alcohol metabolism. And well, I felt that I couldn't just withold this knowledge from everyone, I had to share it with the world.

For the last time, people, the scientic facts (parentheticals from me):
"Approaching 50% of Japanese and Chinese are unable to produce ALDH I (a form of aldehyde dehydrogenase), a deficiency not observed in Caucasian and Negroid* populations. Deficient individuals exhibit significant levels of acetaldehyde in the blood when levels in normal individuals are negligible and the familiar 'flushing response' which accompanies alcohol consumption in many oriental** subjects, is observed. Symptoms include peripheral vasodilation (hence the flushing), a marked increase or decrease in heart rate (it's great how specific science is), difficulties in breathing and general muscle weakness. (This is where I want y'all to pay attention now) This abnormality does not appear to affect the overall rate of alcohol elimination. (So I am not drunk any faster or slower than you, nor am I getting slowly poisoned by alcohol.)

But, wait, what about those people that say alcohol makes them sick because of their race? Patience, young one.

"Genetic variants of ADH (alcohol dehydrogenase), common in Japanese subjects, cause a similar syndrome, but in this case abnormally rapid oxidation of ethanol leads to elevated acetaldehyde levels... When ethanol is consumed, acetaldehyde levels rise, again resulting in flushing and choking sensations (and also causing nausea, headache, and symptoms often associated with hangovers.)"

*Yeah, not the most PC of articles. Apologies all around.
**Yeah, have I mentioned that scientists are racists? And even then, the 'o' isn't capitalized.

In conclusion: I flush. I miss ALDH I. But I don't get drunk any faster. (Not that I ever drink enough to get drunk, but if I did, it'd be at the same rate as any other really short girl.) The ADH mutants do. And I don't know what's up with the difficulties breathing part.

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled biochem cram.

This entry brought to you by: Clive Bullock at The Culturally Insensitive Department of Sciences at the Roehampton Institute. (In their/his defense, they're Brits and their PC ideals are a little different.)