Darling Idiots

Yet another round of "Dear Applicant" letters...

Dear Dressy:
"Front of the House Specialist?" I think you mean hostess. That's the word, hostess. And what the hell is a Graduation Leader? Do you mean a class marshal? Why do you avoid calling things as they are, Applicant? And when you say you were "responsible for measuring and installing cable as well as being capable of going into ceilings, basements, closets, and underground areas." I just don't know what to make of it. Does that just mean you're bendy? Jen doesn't want to make fun of you. She thinks it shows courage. I think that sounds almost as absurd as you.

Dear Ambitious:
"My ideal position would be one that allows for continual learning while fusing business, drug development, and people." I don't know if you can do that. That's a lot of fusing.

Dear Upper Middle Class White Boy:
Yes, you "have had the opportunity to interact and connect with people from various ethnic, cultural, and financial backgrounds." You have also made me gag.


Finally, a list of things that are not activities:

Psychology. Reading the newspaper. And "Hispanic culture enthusiast." I don't even know what that last one is, but it sounds vaguely fetishist.