Yesterday afternoon, the weather was dreadful on the outside and inside, it was pretty meh as well. It's Friday afternoon and everyone is busy. A perfect time, I thought, to reward ourselves with cookies. I picked up three from the JP Licks downstairs, thinking I'd have maybe half or a whole one to myself and share the rest with my fellow research assistants who were covering phone duty for me. But some people apparently have the self-control to refrain from cookies. I'm normally not a huge fan of cookies myself, but these smelled delectable. And since the folks on either side of my cubicle said no, I moved onto the next cubicle after Jen's and offered my cookie there. And to the next cube. And so on, even stopping in our chief's office. Everyone took a little piece here and there, and while everyone was genuinely pleased by the cookies, the cookies just would not go away. I walked all the way around the division, eventually sharing 2.5 cookies (I had half myself) with seven other people. Everyone was pleased to have them, that is, except for the last two to get them, who just happened to be my Supervisor and Whitecastle, respectively. Supervisor first commented that the fact she was one of the last to receive the cookie would go into my annual review but took the comment back when she realized that I had her favorite cookie flavor, oatmeal butterscotch (I know, what kind of flavor is that?). And Whitecastle? He was less vindictive but suspicious...
Moi: Would you like a quarter of a cookie?
Whitecastle: Depends where it has been.
Moi: Around the division. Nobody would take a whole one so there's still a quarter left- oh, I mean, um, you are totally my first choice...
Whitecastle: Yeah, give it to me after three quarters are gone. Very nice.
Moi: I'm giving you a free cookie!
Whitecastle: Should I swab this and test it first?
Moi: Sure, whatever. I'm not eating that thing.
If I'm comparing the cookies to the fish and the loaves, does that make me Jesus? Why, I think it might.
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