Maybe some people just shouldn't wear white, even between the months of May and September. Every time I've worn my new white shirt, I've stained it almost immediately. Today, I confused my shirt for the napkin on my lap and wiped my greasy fingers on it. At this rate, I'm just surprised that there isn't snot on the shirt.
The over-sensitive automatic toilets at work always flush as I enter the stall. Which always makes me want to pee even more. But I always feel like I should wait until it's done flushing. Out of courtesy for the toilet.
When I grow to be very old, I hope that I, too, can find a research assistant who I can both befriend and torment by not following directions and keeping her on the phone to chat about alternative medicine and my eating intolerances, neither of which have nothing to with the study that I am currently enrolled in, the very one that I have already messed up twice.
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