My parents have just come back from a month away in the Motherland. No, not the Motherland of motherlands, not the tartan one and not the commie one, just their motherland. And they have come back as changed people. Sure, we have all changed. Since the last time I saw them, I have become a get-up-at-7am-eat-breakfast-by-8am type of freak. And my parents?
My dad has come back with a pair of Chucks. Not faux-Chucks, as I brought back from the motherland (and dearly love, blisters aside, I mean, do you have sneakers whose tops you can fold down?), but real, genuine, All-Stars.
Moi: Converses? Do you know what these are, Bah?
Father: Yeah, Converse All-Stars snakers. I really like them.
Later, he asked if I wanted to see his new shades.
Moi: Why're you so stylish?
Father: Cool, huh? Don't I look like a Triad boss?
And indeed, he did. Shades, mustache, goatee, and slightly greasy long hair, he looked just like any other Asian villain in action movies. Awesome.
So I'm rummaging through all the food that Mother brought back from the Motherland, seeing if I can bring any little snacks to Advisor Riles:
Mother: Do any of your professors wear extra large?
Moi: Um, could we not be giving clothes to my professors?
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