God's Little Gifts

My parents love little children. They've long toyed with the idea of adoption and they are pretty good with children. All of this, I think, helps to explain why they rocked as parents when we were little (we, as in Brother and I, not you and I) but have slacked off considerably in recently years.

So I'm talking to Mother on the phone, she is waiting for her luggage at the airport:

Mother: There are so many cute children here, I really want to take one home.
Moi: Do it! Adoption is so expensive. If you can get one for free, go for it.
Mother: But they all look like they're old enough to talk. Those are hard to steal away.
Moi: That's why you need to get one that doesn't speak English. We can teach them Chinese. Oh! A Spanish-speaking one would be ok. We could make it work. No wait, too many people speak Spanish, they'd know...
Mother: Yeah, that's too hard. Does this mean no Mexican children? Do they speak Spanish?
Moi: You should aim for those obscure little European countries. Or countries in Asia minor. Those would be good.
Mother: You are horrible.