The Small Stuff

Dear People Dancing At Club:
Personal boundaries, people! Boundaries. Ever heard of them? Ok, never mind. Dance floors are supposed to be crowded, that's not really why I'm writing tonight. I'm just curious to know: why are all of your arms so wet? Mine are perfectly dry. And why do you smell so sweaty? I could still detect it above the stench of smoke and alcohol. Mostly, though, I'm writing to let you know about this wonderful product called anti-perspirant. It keeps you from being wet and smelling, which is a pretty good deal for one product. Again, I know, it's a club, people are dancing, these things happen. But the slickness of your arms were pretty alarming- I mean of all the places to sweat, your arms? I sweat, too, but... wet arms!? So I just felt my duty as visitor to your fair city to tell you these things. It wouldn't be right of me to just sit on this treasure of an invention they have in the States and not share it with wondrous Eddie Bert.

Peace, and

Dry as a Kite
(kites are really dry 'cause they're so much closer to the sun than the rest of us...)


PS. You were still sort of fun.
PPS. Why does the name of your club have racist implications? I know it's some Italian name, but... first Clansman Center, now Massa... that's two strikes, Scotland.