Getting High In Scotland Pt. 1

Went on a highland bus tour yesterday and saw much of the Scottish countryside. Was also asleep for a great deal of the nausea-inducing car ride, so perhaps did not see as much as I was supposed to, but I saw a lot of lands that were high nevertheless and in the process, learned a lot about great Scottish failures.

Contrary to what previous tour guides have told us, this is not a land of innovations and geniuses. No. This is a country of failed ideas. Like, I don't know, the grand plan hatched during the particular heavy winters of 1960's of building ski lodges up in the highlands to attract tourism. Yeah, apparently that plan only works if you have snow.
This mountain, therefore, standing tall and dry in February, is no good for skiing. That's why all these ski lodges have fallen on hard times. Upon hearing this, the group of us from New England posed many questions, like "Why can't they just make snow?" "Why don't they use the hills for something else, like grass sledding?" And "What, oh what, on earth posessed you to build ski lifts and ski lodges and ski slopes if you don't see snow here? Why!?" We coule only come up with two logical explanations for this: 1. The same fairies that people built stone monuments to told them to do it. Or 2. It was the 60's. They were not lucid.

We also heard stories of this canal that was built with the intent of connecting all the lochs (lakes) in the country. Much like the Big Dig back home, the canal took ten years longer than expected and more than twice the money. But the beauty of the whole thing was that after construction was finally finished, it was discovered that the canal was too shallow for boats to cross. So they had to redo everything. Oh, you've got to love this country.

But mostly, on the bus ride, we were fearful. Firstly, we were fearful of being left behind, since none of us really got over the whole Stirling incident. It wasn't very assuring either, that we were given numbers to call should we get left behind. Why would we get left behind? Couldn't the bus just wait for us? We don't know. Secondly, no one seemed especially concerned about safety. Navigating through the windy roads of the mountains, we saw lots of incomplete fences and safety railings, railings that were not nearly tall enough to be sufficient for the gianormous bus we were on. The bus driver, pressing hard on the gas peddle, certainly did not seem concerned. There were also the upturned cars in ditches alongside the road. I think I counted four. One was especially close to 2 highland cows, which once again, led to many questions. How did the car get there? Why is it still there and upside down? Are there still people in there? And if our bus ever flipped over like that, would people come and rescue us, or will we just lie there, like these cars, as people drive off without concern? Highland cows are adorable, but their horns are nasty. And the Scots pronounce 'cow' in a way that sounds like 'coo,' which is pretty cool by me.