Slim Shady

Sometimes, I can see my life in two parallel worlds. The world where people's words mean what I think them to mean and where my words are understood to be exactly what I meant them to be. Then there is the real world. Where terrible things happen when people don't behave per my expectations.

This afternoon, I pop into Doc Query's office to offer a cookie (wanted to buy 6 thank-you cookies for Josh and ended up buying 24, because it doesn't make economic sense to buy the smaller package when the tub is only 50 cents more).

Doc Query: No, thanks, I'm on a diet.

(I assume he is joking)

Moi: Oh, yeah, you look great. It's totally working out for you.

Doc Query: Yeah? Thanks.

Moi: So, do you want a cookie?

(He was not joking)

Doc Query: No, thanks. I'm on a diet.

Moi: Oh...

Luckily, not everyone in the office was on a diet (though more of us, that is, I, probably should be). By the time I get to Whitecastle's office, the box was more than half gone and only 8 were left. He, as you might remember, does not do well with not placing first. Practically a poster child for birth-order theorists.

Moi: Want a cookie?

Whitecastle: It doesn't look like there's any left. I told you to come to me first.

Moi: Oh. Yeah... um, it was a box of 8. You're the first one...