Sometimes, life feels too good. I get restless and reckless. And I do something incredibly stupid. I look up Taiwanese food shows on youtube and invariably end up with longing for culture and food that are not wholly mine, and that I cannot have. It's like grocery shopping on an empty stomach after gastric bypass surgery knowing that you're also penniless. Why would I subject myself to clips of night market stalls showing off snacks I crave, listening to an accent I no longer have, while wallowing in self pity of what is no longer mine? Because I'm stupid, that's why. And sometimes to have loved and lost is better than to never have loved at all.
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