Water World

Dear L.L.Bean-
If your name wasn't Leon Leonwood Bean, I would probably name a child after you. But unfortunately, it is, so I'll probably name my son something conventional, like Ethan. Still, I do want to thank you for keeping me dry today as I walked half a mile in near flood conditions. Sure, your clothes are never chic or flattering, but dressed hood to toe in Bean today (winter parka, plain sweater, hiking socks, hiking boots) and looking ridiculous among the business casual Boston crowd, I had never been so wet and so dry. There were skeptics as I waded through six inches of water all around me, but I knew deep down, that if you could get me through four years in Maine, you could surely get me through my icy trek home. My coat, my pants, my bag, were all drenched, and yet my body was dry and my toes refreshingly comfortable, blissfully ignorant of the hazardous conditions outside. Outstanding work, gentleman. Outstanding.

Sincerely,

Dry and Humored