Two Letters

Dear Flu Shot:
  You are dead to me.
  (Though it'll soon be the other way around.  My immune system really sucks.)

Sincerely,

Ungrateful Barely Living



Dear Self-Assured Globe Writer:
  "There are many things we do well in New England. Clams fried and chowdered, lobsters rolled and boiled, Fenway franks, roast beef sandwiches, the foods of Portugal, Vietnam, Brazil."
 
  Clearly, you are not from Portugal, Vietnam, or Brazil.

Sincerely,

Also Not From Portugal, Vietnam, or Brazil