Bran New Day

Dear Neighboring Boys:

Your music taste still sucks. I don't get to be judgmental about a lot of people's music taste because I'm generally 4.7 years behind whatever is hip, but honestly, you choose to blast the worst music.

But I am not writing because I am concerned for your musical soul. No, I'm concerned for your physical bodies. There has been a lot of grunting in your room as of late and I worry perhaps all three of you are constipated. You sure sound like you are. Might I suggest a bowl of granola as you listen to Michelle Branch with the bass turned up high, or washing down those pizza slices you throw all over our staircase with a cool one of metamucil? Celery is also great. Just anything with fibre. They're all better than smashing your furniture around.

Sincerely,

Your Regular Neighbor