Gulliver's Travels

Welcome to my 501st blog entry. Man, I spend too much time here. I guess Dusty has a point about the slump... lazy sophomores.

This morning was a time spent in bizarro world. At breakfast, someone replaced all the normal utensils at Moulton with giant-ware. I felt like one of the Israelite spies stepping into Canaan. (Sunday school reference- ten points! Biblical reference on a Sunday- five extra points!) There were extra large spatulas for the omelettes, with handles longer than my forearm, and in the tablespoons slot, the biggest spoon I had ever seen. It covered half of Alex's face. So amused was I with my giant spoon that I snuck it out of the dining hall, only to be yelled at by Megan, who said that I was "extra wrong" because I was "stealing" right before church. But frankly, the 44 grand that the Bo' charges should more than cover for the spoon, giant as it was.

After breakfast, I ate brunch. There, the conversation turned, as it often does, toward Brian's gap year in Honduras between seventh and eighth grade, when he took some time to consider if middle school was right for him. Somehow or rather, Brian brought up his anti-pirates organization (pirates suck because they eat polar bears), thus setting Rachel off on the longest anti-pirate rant known to man. We had no idea that her little body was capable of such stored rage, but on she went, for no less than fifteen minutes, on how she hated pirates. Not terrorism, poverty, or global warming, but pirates.

Rachel: You don't understand how annoying it was. In high school, there were these girls who were obsessed with pirates. They were like a quarter of my class and they always dressed up as pirates and talked like pirates.

Brianna: Were they the popular girls? Because then you could have just turned people against them, became popular yourself.

Rachel: Oh no, I was popular.

Moi: Were you one of those popular people that hated the weird kids?

Rachel: No! No, I was weird!

Brianna: Right, you should have worked against them so people liked you more.

Rachel: But I was most popular. In my class, I was voted most popular.

(Realize how conceited that sounded)

Rachel: It was a really small class...


(I reiterate how giant the giant spoon was and how I missed it.)

Connie: Yeah! Look at how much bigger your spoon is than mine!

Moi: That's because you are holding a teaspoon.

Connie: Oh. What's yours called then?

Moi: This is a tablespoon. The giant spoon is in Tim's car.