Don't Ask, Don't Tell

As a senior with a few responsibilities, kids are always approaching me with questions and expecting that I know the answer. When are the payments due? What are we doing in BCF this week? Am I extracting the right layer? What is the future of the Common Good on campus? Didn't we go to preschool together?

How do I respond to these questions in subjects I know nothing about? In order to cultivate my image as suave senior who knows what's going on, senior in control of campus, senior with oyster, I lie. A lot. A lot a lot. I nod my head and say things in a confident manner regarding subjects I have no business commenting on.

Case in point: Organic Chemistry labs. Last week, a kid asked me if aluminum chloride was corrosive...

Moi: Why? (All the time thinking: What the freak is aluminum chloride? How am I supposed to know? Doesn't sound very dangerous. Sodium chloride is our friend.)

Kid: I spilled some on myself.

Moi: Oh. Well, does it burn? (Not trying to be glib- I seriously asked that. Probably not best moment of my lab assisting career.)

Kid: Not really.

Moi: Well, um... it's probably ok. I wouldn't worry about it unless it burns. You should probably clean it off though.

Moments later, I turn around and spot a bottle of aluminum chloride by the scales. The instructor had put a big label on it that said "Corrosive!" Oops.

Tidbits about how dangerous it was once it got moist started seeping into my memory, something about how kids should be careful not to breathe it in because it'd burn the lining of the skin because of the moisture. Also remembered it as the reason I cleaned out all those dessicators last week, so students could store it in a safe, dry place... but by then, Kid had already left the lab, blissfully ignorant, probably off to eat dinner. That ought to teach him to put his faith in people when he should learn to pay attention to science.