My Life is Not My Own

Every morning, before I am even awake enough to think of going anywhere, I must first tell my grandfather, eldest and second eldest aunt where I plan on spending my day, where my meals shall take place, and where I will rest my head come eveing. Mind you, I did not meet either of these two aunts before coming here, but now that I've arrived on their turf, I am theirs and theirs alone. And what should happen if I rebel and fail to report to them? They've got minions and minons abound, I tell you! I once made the mistake of believing a cousin when she said I could sleep late at her place after they'd left for work and slept until the ungodly hour of 8:45am and not answering the phone at this distant relative's house when I heard it ring (thinking perhaps that I should not go around answering the phones of people I didn't know). Frantic calls were made back and forth all unbeknownst to me and within the hour, a cousin arrived at the doorsteps to escort me to her house, lest I get lost between the two-minute taxi ride in a city the size of Portland (Maine).

A couple of mornings ago, when I was about to join second eldest aunt and my grandfather for breakfast, he suddenly asked me if I had called my eldest aunt yet. I had spent the past 72 hours all within sight of him since the two of us had gone on a trip visting more distant relatives I didn't know about, had not planned on going anywhere that morning, and was sitting right between an aunt and grandfather, why would I need to call my eldest aunt? Absolutely stumped, I asked what I needed to tell her. That I'm back, of course! Oh foolish, worthless me, why didn't I think that I needed to call my eldest aunt to say that I've safely arrived when we've been with relatives all along the trip? When my aunts called to check on us every day? When two out of three triumvirates where sitting right there? Why did I think it was unnecessary? Or think that it'd have been more proper had my grandfather, her father, called her instead of me.

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, when I wast young, I girded myself and walked whither I wanted. But now I am old. And I must report to three guards over me before I can go anywhere or do anything.

(Quick, reference the verse that was modeled after without looking and there'll be a prize for you... in heaven!)