Leave It To Cleaver

Oh wonderful people and wonderful comments. You are wonderful. Almost as wonderful as being able to use the internet two days in a row.

You know who's not wonderful? This man I saw on the news last night. He held a hostage at knife point for a couple of hours. It was your regular ol' kitchen cleaver that he held to a poor man's neck, the man on his knees. I don't even think the hostage was bound. And the man, I don't think he had demands, the news just said that he had failed in love. And there he was, on a big, open sidewalk, holding a kitchen cleaver to a poor man's neck. How was this cunning menace finally apprehended? The clever cops got him from behind and tackled him. How do you not notice five armed cops in full uniform running from behind you in a completely open street? I don't know. I just can't believe the reporters even bothered showing up for this story. And the failed-in-romance hostage taker just made me sad in so many ways and I have a plethora more of questions for him.

Has he not seen any action movies? Why not a gun? Why not some place other than an open sidewalk? How did you even get your hostage? Oh, China.