Dear Boys Next Door,

Please use words to express your feelings and emotions. That's right, words. Not grunts. Not expletives. And certainly not shouts or loud whooping that catch me offguard as I'm trying to do my homework. You are giving me a heart attack. And please, learn to speak one at a time instead of all crying out at once because you can't really hear each other when you do that and have I mentioned that you scare the bejeebus out of me every time you do that? How many of you are there anyway? You sound a lot louder than three skinny boys. Please review simple phrases like, "I am glad he scored," or "wow, look at that pass," or even, "I am frustrated that he is not playing per my expectations today," and refrain from the simultaneous and spontaneous hollering you all feel compelled to rip. I hope, with simple daily practice, you will one day learn to channel your excitement and frustrations in healthier manners. And maybe my heart will 'ast me until then. Please, I implore you, use words. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Shaking in Terror, But Expressing It With Words