Friendly Fire

The title really has nothing to do with the story, I don't think. We'll see. But first, we peed.

My life really revolves around more than school and urination, as you can see from the old posts, but recently, it's degraded to just that. So Joe and I just finished dinner and we're about to head to the C-store, but first I had to use the restroom. Turns out, he did, too. So as we both head into our respective rooms, I jokingly add, "We'll see who pees fastest." And I leave it at that. Because I say lots of dumb things throughout the day and expects folks to forget them as fast as I regret them.

But not Joseph. I come out of the room refreshed, and go by the coat rack, still in the dining hall, to pick up my jacket and when I turn around, Joe is just coming out...

Joe: I can't believe you beat me!

Moi: Um...

Joe: Girls always take longer than guys. But you actually, you peed faster.

Moi: Er, can we not do this so publicly? (Motions two fellow students, strangers to both of us, who have stopped talking to each other and started staring.)

Joe: I don't care. This is unbelievable, did you wash your hands? Girls are not supposed to pee faster than me.

Moi: Yes, I definitely washed my hands, didn't you? I even dried my hands. I had to do a lot more than you in that bathroom. But can you just let this go?

Strange girl: Yeah, so she wipes her a** faster than you do.

Moi: Thank you?

Joe: Wow, I respect you so much more now. (By this time, the two students have left and a professor is walking by with her toddler.) Imagine that, a girl peed faster than me.

Moi: Honestly, Joe, let's stop talking about this in the dining hall...