Tender and Mild

Every time I come home, I seem to write some entry about Mother forsaking her matronly duties for television, and the damage we pay in hunger. This year, I tried really hard to stray from the same topics and jokes and respect Mother and how she operates the household. Especially since she mentioned making lamb two ways at lunch yesterday, or maybe it was for us to choose one of two ways. I can't remember very well right now. I am extremely hungry.

After enduring hours of quiet stomach rumblings, I finally approached Mother. I had left her on the couch about three hours ago, when she said that she wanted to "relax a little" after we'd just watched some good ol' PBS. ("Relax from... watching TV?" I wanted to ask. But I held my tongue and let her have the remote.)

Moi: Is it OK if I ask what we're going to have for dinner? Because I can fix something myself.

Mother (genuine shock): You want to eat dinner tonight?

Moi: That would be lovely, yes.

Mother: I'm not hungry at all. Didn't we have a big lunch?

Moi: Yes, we did, ma'am.

Mother: And you're hungry again?

Moi: It would appear so.