For years, I'd gotten by on the simple flattery: You look great today. It has become such a part of my requests for help that Whitecastle calls me out on it when I don't compliment him on his tie. Even via the phone. Though that might be saying more about Whitecastle than it does about me.
In a meeting with Advisor Who today, however, I was told that I needed to up my buttering skills. His other students are laying it on thick and I could learn a few things from them. And read me the most obsequious English letter I have ever heard, starting with "Dear and Respectable Doctor Who," and included well wishes not only for him but his family, and even students. The letter mentioned his charm, his smile, and his intellect. I would have thrown up if my body was not frozen in stupor.
Once I came to, my body went through a range of emotions. There was denial-- this can't be a real letter. Anger-- how dare this student ruin it for the rest of us? And finally, acceptance as I started jotting everything down furiously. Oh yes, I intend to incorporate these into my own future white lies. Imitation, they say, is the sincerest form of flattery.
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