Monday, April 09, 2012

Stuff Biostat Professors Say

I have had four biostat professors in the past academic year, at the rate of 2 a month (5 if we're looking at calendar years).  It has been a difficult year for the brain.  There are only so many nicknames I can make up.  That's why I have delayed talking about Prof Timberfake until now.  But oh, there is so much to talk about.  Unlike Prof McGoofy, who exhibited unbridled joy and good humor, Prof Timberfake is dark, cynical, and self effacing.  Naturally, he is hilarious.  Yet his hilarity also inspires fear.  I have seen the way he berates himself.  I do not want to see how he berates others.  Namely me.  (Whitecastle, on the other hand, never berates himself publicly, but is funny in berating others.)

(a sample monologue)

Prof Timberfake: Biostatisticians have great imaginary lives because we are very mild and boring in actuality.  I'm surprised we've survived this long.  Can you imagine what we were doing in the caves?  Counting rocks?  Counting teeth?

No comments: