Ashley gave birth earlier this morning. I did not. Ashley gave birth in one of the premier hospitals in the nation, known especially for its obstetrics. I accidentally undermined its security system. The hospital has an intricate security system that protects all new babies requiring visitors to check in at security where IDs are presented, pictures taken, and badges made. All that was supposed to happen by the front desk on the first floor. But I got in via the second floor. Got in the elevator, and tried to press 10. It wouldn't go. "I think you need to go down to the first floor for them to buzz you in," the nice guy in the elevator told me. So I shrugged and followed him up to the 6th floor. I had fully intended to then ride down to the first floor. But then someone else got on to go to the 7th floor. And another for the 9th floor. Before I knew it, I was getting off at the 10th floor with 2 other nurses and picking up babies to take home. All this is apparently frowned upon and Ashley kept shaking her head and said, "How'd you get in?" And laughing whenever I pulled out my badge. "That's not what it's supposed to look like!" But hey, feigning innocence and walking confidently has gotten me pretty far in life and is essential for all future Code Pink operations. Just leave Ashley's baby Davidina-Joy* alone.
*It's not on the birth certificate, but we're fairly certain that the second middle name is Davidina-Joy. Of course, you can call her Deej for short.
No comments:
Post a Comment