Flavor of Love

Unlike many Asian Americans, I don't think there's a culture chasm between my parents and myself, nor consider any undue pressure put upon me by them (the latter might explain my total lack of achievements). Like them, I was born in Taiwan and we generally understand each other. At least that's what I thought.

Father and Mother are visiting both my g-pops in Taiwan so I wanted to buy some Haaaahvuhd gear for them to bring back (can I go a week without mentioning the name of my school? unlikely) The maternal g-pop was easy to shop for: tie, mug, presto, and Bob's my uncle. My dad, however, claims that his father is more finicky (I wonder if it's more the son than the father). No shirts. No small print. And nothing "too practical." Blanket? Pennant? Sweatpants? No, no, and no. Finally, after hour sof scouring, Landlady Chang and I picked a nice looking clock. Big, impractical, and can easily draw visitors' attention so Ah-Gong (grandfather) can then tell people about his brilliant granddaughter in America (because really, this is about me). Perfectly fitting? Perhaps. Perfectly offensive? Absolutely.

Apparently, as I learned last night, Chinese people don't give clocks as presents. "Silly superstition," Father said, while Mother went with "you'll get beaten to death." Either way, clock giving is just not done. The phrase "give a clock" is homonymous with the phrase "sending to the grave" and while I could probably get away with giving a clock to my parents, it's definitely a no-go for 91-year-old Ah Gong. Sweatpants it is then.

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Even with superstitions aside...

Mother: (responding to Father's sneeze) That's what you get for not wearing your jacket.

Moi: For the gazillionth time, you can't catch the cold by being cold.

Mother: Yes, you can. You always get colds when it's cold.

Moi: People are more susceptible to getting sick when it's cold because that's when the flu season is and they're more likely to be staying inside and sharing the same air with people, leading to easier virus transmission.

Mother: That's no true. It's from the cold. And I forgive you.